Never Fear, God is Here!

What does “fear” have to do with your finances?  Probably more than you think.  It can affect the decisions you make, foster unproductive habits, and prevent you from being open with your spouse.  Fear can be the main stumbling block that keeps you from facing the truth, changing your ways, or taking the necessary risk to do the right thing. If it goes unchecked, fear absolutely will stand in the way of you and your spouse achieving financial freedom and marital unity.

So what exactly is fear?  Fear is “an emotion experienced in anticipation of some specific pain or danger, usually accompanied by a desire to flee or fight[1].”  The desire to flee can lead to secretive behaviors like avoiding money talks or manipulating facts.  The desire to fight can lead to adversarial behaviors like making accusations or escalating arguments.  And all of these are symptoms of the condition I call “Financial Friction”. 

If you are experiencing Financial Friction in your marriage (http://blog.niadavenport.com/2010/11/freedom-from-financial-friction/), and you have not taken the necessary steps to be free from it, you are being held back by fear.  You may have rationalized that your thoughts and attitudes about money aren’t perfect, but they are better than most people’s.  You may have decided that the disharmony with your spouse over money isn’t really a big deal, because your marriage seems healthy in every other way.  Or you may have concluded that facing the truth isn’t worth the cost, because God might not really want to heal you.

Believe me, I understand all of these thoughts and emotions.  The deep, soul-searching process that God brought me through made things rise to the surface that I didn’t want to face.  There were mistakes I had made, secrets I had kept, and feelings I wished I could bury.  Our circumstances hadn’t always been stable, and our discussions hadn’t always been fruitful, and part of me was afraid this would never change.  But at some point, I realized that if I allowed fear to have power over me, things weren’t going to get better.  They would only get worse. So I prayed.

God heard my prayer, but He didn’t completely take away the feeling of fear. He just overrode it by the Power of His Spirit, so that I could move forward in spite of how I felt.  He gave me the courage to admit my past mistakes.  He gave me the courage to face seasons of financial hardship. He gave me the courage to resist spending impulses.  And He gave me the courage to make changes and to work through difficult decisions.  And He will do the same for you.  He wants to give you freedom from fear, so that you and your spouse can move forward in complete unity, even when it isn’t easy. 

Over the next 4 posts, we will examine the prevailing fears related to money in marriage, and use 2Timothy 1:7 as a guiding truth to help you overcome these fears and experience the unity that God has for you.   

Action step:  Ask God to give you insight over the next week into how fear is affecting your current financial condition.

“Search My Heart, O God…”

• Ask God to give you insight into how fear is affecting your current financial condition, praying

Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting (Psalm 139:23-24).