Nia’s Story

If any couple should have been in perfect harmony over money, it was my husband and me.  My husband is a natural-born money manager.  I am a Certified Public Accountant (CPA), a Financial Planner, and I have a long history of being an “expert” on money.  So our ability to understand and apply sound financial principles was well above average.

In addition to our financial strengths, we also had a godly marriage.  Even from the early days of our engagement, we truly desired to honor God both as individuals, and as a couple.  Yes, we were the perfect picture of a marriage that should have been immune to conflicts over money.

Yet, every time we sat down to discuss money, all of my education– along with all of my religion– went out the window.  In spite of our abilities and our godly marriage, money talks were filled with tension, stress, and arguments. 

Throughout the course of our marriage, our circumstances ranged from abundance to dire need.  We experienced job promotions, unemployment, short-term disability, abundant income, income being cut in half, unexpected medical bills for a child with special needs, and  the instability of starting a new business.  But regardless of our financial standing, money still equaled friction.  

I knew we had a problem, but I had no idea where it was really coming from or how to fix it.  When all of my attempts to overcome it on my own failed, I finally invited The Holy Spirit to step in.  I knew that His way HAD to be better than mine. It turned out that He wanted to help all along, so He had allowed the tension to build until one day I cried out to Him for help.  

But what surprised me was that He wanted to work on me.  He showed me that if I truly wanted things to change, I must be willing to begin this journey alone, without requiring anything of my husband.   

Here’s what happened.  In my quiet time, The Holy Spirit revealed to me my ungodly behaviors related to money in my marriage, including:    

• Secret spending
• Over-spending, in total disregard of our family budget
• Controlling and manipulating the finances, generally to my own personal advantage   
• Not being diligent in keeping track of the money     
• Acting like a martyr whenever I needed to make some kind of sacrifice for the good of the household finances   
• Paying tithes late to help with cash flow shortages  
• Using credit cards as our personal emergency fund instead of savings 
• An overall desire to control the finances, and not to discuss them, change them, or compromise about them with my husband.

The Holy Spirit then revealed to me that my behavior would only change if I replaced my ungodly desires with His desires for me.  So I asked Him to show me how He wanted things to be, and to make a permanent change. He did, and our marriage has never been the same!  My marriage has been free from financial friction since 2003!

Because of this transformation, and experiencing freedom from financial friction, I have a CPA Financial Planning practice that helps couples also experience marital financial unity.  My husband and I also have an engineering firm with 4 offices, a lifestyle of radical giving to domestic and foreign missions, and a mindset that seeks to honor each other and God in all of our financial decisions and choices. If this can happen for me, it can happen for anyone!  Be encouraged, and keep reading!