Fourteen years ago, my answer was, “yes”. The high standards I espoused in my dealings with money didn’t always carry over into every setting or every relationship, especially my marriage.

Then God lovingly revealed how destructive this was. 

Financial Ethic #7 states:  “We will live by the highest standards of financial integrity in our families, our churches, our chosen work or professions.” ^[1]

In the last post, I wrote that true financial integrity finds its roots in more than just good behavior.  It finds its roots in God’s unconditional love.  This unconditional love is the only thing that can motivate you to want to be consistently trustworthy before God and others in all of your financial decisions.

But integrity has a nemesis called duplicity.  Look at how Proverbs 11:3 describes the contrast:

“The integrity of the upright guides them, but the unfaithful are destroyed by their duplicity.”

The danger of duplicity is more than just the possibility of getting caught.  The danger of duplicity is that it destroys your faithfulness.

This destruction is imminent if you:

• have secret stashes of money
• have a bad history with money that you’ve hidden from your spouse
• practice secret spending
• hide overspending
• accept monetary gifts from your parents that your spouse doesn’t know about

These are only a few of the most common examples.  But you may have noticed a trend:  they all involve hiding secrets.  Being financially unfaithful.  Pretending.  Lying.

If you struggle with duplicity, you are literally divided into opposing parts: the part people see, and the part they don’t see; the part your spouse knows, and the part they don’t know.

So which part belongs to God?

The part that feels very uncomfortable right now.

God is transforming you, your money, and your marriage.  And in the process of that transformation, He is gradually making you aware of the parts of you that need healing or need to die.

The part of you that is a lie is a part that needs to die.

I know how threatening that feels, because the part of me that was a lie was the part that I was used to displaying.  I was terrified that if I let that part die, then only the bad parts, the secret hidden parts would show.

But if you know my story, you know that’s not what happened at all.  As I came to God (and later to my husband), acknowledging my secret sins and unfaithful behaviors with money, God cleansed me from them.  The weight of living in duplicity was lifted off of me, and I was now free to truly experience His change from the inside out.

And having experienced this change has given me an overwhelming love for others who have this struggle.

The most dramatic manifestation of this change wasn’t that I became perfect in my dealings with money.  The most dramatic manifestation was that I became truly trustworthy.

My husband can trust me!

God can trust me!

He trusts me not only to live out His truth in my marriage and my day to day life, but to proclaim His truth to all of you who read this blog, come to my office, or travel to hear me speak.

So if you are sick of living a double life with your money, and you truly want to be trustworthy before God and others in all of your financial dealings, it’s time to ask God to change you.  In the next post, I’ll show you how by guiding you through a scriptural prayer of confession. Be encouraged, and keep reading!

“Search My Heart, O God…”

• Ask God to reveal to you any areas of duplicity in your dealings with money,  praying

Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting (Psalm 139:23-24).

If you’re not sure, then this post is for you.  Over the next few weeks, it is my aim to encourage you to become a person who doesn’t just do what God wants, but truly wants what God wants in all of your financial dealings.

Financial Ethic #7 states:  “We will live by the highest standards of financial integrity in our families, our churches, our chosen work or professions.” ^[1]

First, you have to understand what the highest standard is.  It’s agape love.  And only God can empower you to live by it.

“Let everything you do be done in love (true love to God and man as inspired by God’s love for us). (1Corinthians 16:14AMP)”

Let me be honest.  Until I became motivated by unconditional love for God and for others in my dealings with money, there were certain things He wanted me to do that I did NOT want to do!

In the past, I wanted to do the “right” thing when it made me feel good or somehow benefitted me.  Or because I thought I was supposed to.  The rest of the time, I was just as happy to do things my own way.

But as God’s love has grown (and continues to grow) inside of me, it has changed my whole mindset in my dealings with money.  I have discovered joy and power as He has transformed my heart to want what He wants, to value what He values, and to love what He loves! He didn’t do this overnight, He did it over time.  But even my husband will testify that I don’t just act like a different person in my financial dealings.  I am a different person!

Don’t you want this?  Don’t you want to be free from having to make yourself abide by principles of Biblical stewardship?

Then tell God that you want His heart in your dealings with money.

Don’t settle for telling Him that you want to follow His rules. Tell Him that you want His agape love to be manifested in your heart and your checkbook.  Then buckle your seatbelt for an amazing roller coaster ride as He orchestrates circumstances to transform you!

My husband and I have a dear family member who has been making a series of bad choices for many years.  It finally caught up with her when she found herself facing a major financial obligation and no resources to meet it.  So she called us. We prayed.  God told us to give her part of what she needed.  Love allowed us to want to do this without judging her or attaching any strings.  Love allowed us not to regret this generous act, even though we haven’t heard a word from her since.  And love kept us from becoming too bitter to bless the next person who needed our help.

So do you want to become a person who is able AND willing to live by the highest standard of financial integrity?  Then invite God to start transforming your heart today!

“Search My Heart, O God…”

• Ask God to make love become the motivation for all of your financial decisions,  praying

Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting (Psalm 139:23-24).

Financial Ethic #6 states:  “We will look for investments that produce redemptive results, not destructive ones.  We will use our investment money for God’s glory.” ^[1]

My husband and I have always been very cautious about where we donate large sums of money.  We carefully and prayerfully investigate the vision and the operations of the organizations and missions that we sow into.

But until recently, I must admit that it didn’t occur to us to be equally cautious about where we sowed our investment dollars. 

The main criteria we used to evaluate an investment were the fund family’s reputation, the fund manager’s track record, the class of investments, and the past performance.

Now I realize that there’s a critically important criterion that I was overlooking:  do the things I’m investing in reflect the things I truly care about?

In Luke 12:34, Jesus says, “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

Are your “treasures” invested in companies that align with your heart and God’s?  Are your investment dollars funding activities that you as a Christ-follower would want to participate in? Do you even know what kind of activities the companies in your investment portfolio are involved in?

It takes some time and prayerful investigation to answer these questions.  But the good news is that you don’t have to start from scratch.  There are several software and web-based services that screen individual stocks and bonds, as well as Mutual Funds, determining whether certain non-Biblical or non-socially responsible investments are in the fund.  Some of the typical things they highlight are alcohol, tobacco, pornography, and abortion.

If you don’t want the hassle of trying to monitor every mutual fund you’re invested in, another option is to specifically invest in funds that abstain from companies that participate in non-Biblical activities.  These funds may be labeled “Socially responsible funds” or “Biblically responsible investments”.

If your goal as a Christ-follower is to live an abundant life of bringing glory to Him, then this same goal must guide your investment decisions. While it is wise to entrust the management of your investment portfolio to your broker or financial advisor, you still need to make sure they are aware of your convictions.

Maybe you feel discouraged or trapped because you are limited to the investments that are offered through your company’s retirement plan.  Or maybe you are hesitant to make a change because your current investments are performing well.   I would certainly not want to make you feel guilty for either of these positions.  But I must encourage you to at least make a decision not to be passive about the use of your money.  Do some research and pray together with your spouse about what God would have you to do.

Some of the screening websites that I referred to above offer information on how you can write a letter to the mutual fund companies (or individual companies), stating your convictions about the types of investments they make.  You may discover that the light you shed on this situation has more of an impact than you could imagine.   The important thing is that, one way or another, your investment dollars are ultimately bringing glory to God.

“Search My Heart, O God…”

• Ask God to help you to align your investments with His heart and yours,  praying

Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting (Psalm 139:23-24).

Financial Ethic #5 states:  “We will avoid risky investments and get-rich-quick schemes.” ^[1]   

In the fourth and final post on this financial ethic, it’s time to be brutally honest about the fact that you’re risking more than money.  You’re risking creating a major rift with your spouse. And that rift can become a serious roadblock in your journey to freedom from financial friction.

Perhaps you’ve convinced yourself that you’re actually doing something good for your spouse.  That they’ll be grateful and pleasantly surprised when you come home and tell them that you’ve made a bunch of money and solved all your financial problems.  But if you read the last 3 posts, you now realize that the pursuit of quick wealth is unfruitful, unbiblical, and leads to destruction. 

The good news is that you can use the temptation you experience to pursue risky investments and get-rich-quick schemes as an opportunity to foster unity with your spouse and with God.  Here’s how to make it a stepping stone—instead of a roadblock– on the path to freedom from financial friction.

1. Acknowledge that you’re facing temptation in this decision.  “But each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death. (James 1:14-15)” Your spouse needs to hear from you in the weak moments that you’re facing temptation before the enticement drags you away.  These are opportunities for them to participate by listening and interceding in prayer.
2. Acknowledge your spouse’s perspective in this decision.  “The way of a fool seems right to him, but a wise man listens to advice. (Proverbs 12:15)” One of the reasons God puts people who are “opposites” together, is so that they can compliment and complete each other.  It is by His design that one spouse is often strong in areas where the other spouse isn’t.  This is why it’s important to allow your spouse to have input in decisions that affect the marriage, instead of you trying to make decisions in a vacuum. Remember that ALL of your financial decisions affect your spouse. So do them the courtesy of letting them have a voice in the decision.
3. Acknowledge that God is present to help you with this decision. “No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. (1Corinthians 10:13)” The temptation to pursue quick wealth is common to man.  So there’s no reason to be ashamed to acknowledge it with God.  He knew that temptation was there, but He also knew a way of escape that’s tailor-made for you!   God is ever-present to help you make the right choice.

So let me repeat this again:  ALL of your financial decisions affect your spouse.  And the decision to choose risky investments and get-rich-quick schemes can cause a major rift, especially when it doesn’t turn out well.  But as you acknowledge your temptation, humbly accept your spouse’s input, and recognize that God is present to rescue you when you’re tempted, you can victoriously proclaim Ethic #5.  Then you and your spouse can move one step closer to freedom from financial friction – together!

 “Search My Heart, O God…”

• Ask God to give you the desire to join forces with your spouse when facing financial temptations ,  praying

Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting (Psalm 139:23-24).

But Financial Ethic #5 states:  “We will avoid risky investments and get-rich-quick schemes.” ^[1]   

In the last two posts, we talked about how to overcome the mindsets that make us vulnerable to believing that we should pursue quick cash.  Now we will continue to examine this financial ethic, seeing what the Bible warns will happen if we choose to give into these mindsets by pursuing risky investments and get-rich-quick schemes. 

1 Timothy 6:9-10 says:  “People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction.  For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.”

These verses are a loving warning to anyone who is determined to get rich.  Because having wealth as your focus and a driving force in your life makes you vulnerable in several ways.

1. It makes you vulnerable to not thinking through your decisions.  “People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap”.  If the monetary “bottom line” is the main or only factor that you look at when making a decision, you may be prone to overlooking other important details and even ignoring red flags that you’re about to make a mistake. 
2. It makes you vulnerable to valuing things that could ultimately ruin you.  “People who want to get rich fall into … many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction.”  If you are chasing wealth, every scam artist in the world will find their way to you with moneymaking offers that ARE too good to be true.   
3. It makes you vulnerable to compromising your faith.  “For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.” There are many Christians in prison today who would testify that their desire for wealth led them to compromise in ways they never would have done otherwise.  And one bad choice led to another and another, and before they knew it, greed and dishonesty had become a way of life for them – ultimately leading to their demise.

The desire to become rich is not a godly desire.  That doesn’t mean that it’s ungodly to have wealth or to be wealthy.  But it is ungodly to make wealth a goal in and of itself.  And the Bible warns us that if we choose to make the pursuit of wealth our focus and a driving force in our lives, we will ultimately live to regret it.  So meditate on the verses above, heed the Bible’s warning about trying to get rich, and stop!  It’s a trap!

 “Search My Heart, O God…”

• Ask God to reveal if you are chasing after wealth, and to rescue you from the trap that this makes you vulnerable to ,  praying

Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting (Psalm 139:23-24).

Then this post is for you.

Financial Ethic #5 states:  “We will avoid risky investments and get-rich-quick schemes.” ^[1]   

As we continue to examine this financial ethic, let’s talk about how to deal with the temptation to try to fix our financial problems on our own.

Let me start off by asking you a question:  do you believe that God wants to help you when you’ve made financial mistakes?  I’m not asking if you think He can help you.  I’m asking if you think He’s so upset with what you’ve done wrong, that He’s going to leave you on your own to fix it?  Because unless and until your answers to these questions line up with Biblical truth, you are at risk for going to extreme means to clean up your own messes. 

I was handling the bookkeeping for a large number of bank transactions in our personal finances, and I accidentally posted a $1,000 deposit twice!  Before I realized my error, my husband spent the “extra” thousand dollars.  It was only when the bank contacted me about the account being overdrawn that I realized my mistake.  At the time, we didn’t have extra money in our personal savings, nor did we have access to it anywhere else.  So I could have very easily allowed my sense of guilt to lure me into trying to find a quick fix for my mistake. 

But instead, God stepped in and compelled me to pray. All I can say is that He rescued me by giving us favor with the bank, and He eventually provided the money we needed in ways that only He could! 

2Corinthians 12:9 says:  “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness’.”

I understand that having financial problems that are at least partly due to your own mistakes can cause a heavy sense of guilt.  And this guilt may tempt you to take drastic measures to try to right your own wrongs.  But that’s not how God wants to deal with it.  He doesn’t want you to muscle up to try to fix things.  He wants you to acknowledge your weakness, so that you can experience His power. You can do this by practicing these 4 “A’s”: 

1.  Acknowledge your mistakes.  Everybody makes them.  God expects them.  He knows when you’ve made them, so just go ahead and get everything out in the open with Him by confessing them.
2. Admit your temptations.  Since you’re getting everything out in the open with God anyway, go ahead and admit to Him that you don’t want to have to trust Him enough to fix this.  You want to try to do it yourself. Tell Him specifically how you feel tempted to do it yourself (e.g. – making a risky investment, or participating in a get-rich-quick scheme).    
3. Accept His forgiveness.  He forgives you for what you just confessed.  Now say out loud, “I receive your forgiveness.  Thank You, Lord!”
4. Allow His intervention. Personalize the Bible verse above, saying out loud, “Your grace is sufficient for me, for your power is made perfect in my weakness.”  Then invite Him to use His power to rescue you and help your situation. 

Remember what you learned in the last post from Hebrews 13:5 about God promising to never turn His back on you: “ [I will] not, [I will] not, [I will] not in any degree leave you helpless nor forsake nor let [you] down (relax My hold on you)! [Assuredly not!]”

So let’s embrace this Biblical truth:  God wants to be with us in our mistakes.  Not after we’ve fixed them.  He is with us before, during, and after the mistakes are made.  He may not always completely erase the mistakes, but He will never leave us to fix them on our own. 

So the next time you are tempted to go to extreme means to clean up your own financial messes, practice the 4 A’s, and watch God move on your behalf!

“Search My Heart, O God…”

• Ask God to give you faith that He is with you when you make financial mistakes and is willing and able to help you deal with them,  praying

Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting (Psalm 139:23-24).

Then this post is for you.

Over the next few weeks, we will learn to understand and commit to following what the Bible says about pursuing wealth, particularly through risky means.   

Financial Ethic #5 states:  “We will avoid risky investments and get-rich-quick schemes.” ^[1]   

In this post, we won’t focus on the risky investments themselves, but on the mindset that draws us to them in the first place.

Let me start off by asking you a question:  why do you want to get “rich”?

This isn’t a rhetorical question.  I really want you to pause for a few minutes and think about what being rich means to you.

 And now consider this:  if being rich symbolizes not having to worry about or depend on anyone for your needs and wants, God has a better way.  And His way protects you from a mindset that could lure you into pursuing wealth by extreme means.  So before we address why the Bible says that risky investments and get-rich-quick schemes are a bad idea, let’s talk about how to have the only mindset that can shield you from these temptations:

Contentment.

Hebrews 13:5 in the Amplified version says:  “Let your character or moral disposition be free from love of money [including greed, avarice, lust, and craving for earthly possessions] and be satisfied with your present [circumstances and with what you have]; for He [God] Himself has said, I will not in any way fail you nor give you up nor leave you without support. [I will] not, [I will] not, [I will] not in any degree leave you helpless nor forsake nor let [you] down (relax My hold on you)! [Assuredly not!]”

If your deepest desire is to know that your needs and wants will always be cared for, this verse tells you that God promises to do exactly that. 

1. God promises to provide for you.  “I will not in any way fail you nor give you up nor leave you without support.”   When our income was tight and I was unable to work outside the home, God always cared for our needs.  Whether He provided an unexpected refund,  impressed on someone to share generously with us, or miraculously stretched the money we had, neither we nor our children went without  the basic necessities of life, even when we didn’t know how we could afford them on our own.  We could be content in our circumstances because God promised He would take full responsibility for our needs being met.     
2. God promises to always care for you. “[I will] not, [I will] not, [I will] not in any degree leave you helpless nor forsake nor let [you] down (relax My hold on you)! [Assuredly not!]” When the air conditioning went out in the car of a dear single-mom friend of ours during one of the hottest summers on record, God cared for her wants.  About that same time, we began to outgrow our vehicle and needed a larger one.  God impressed on us to give our vehicle – complete with fully functioning air conditioning – to our dear friend.  She could be content with the car she had, while still entrusting her desires for something more to God.  And He took care of those desires as only He could!

Let the truth of God’s promises free you from the temptation to pursue wealth.  You can be content with what you have, and you can entrust the desires of your heart to God instead of being driven to fulfill them yourself.   He won’t crush your desires.  He’ll keep them from crushing you.  He will keep them from consuming you.  And He will keep your desires from driving you to do foolish harmful things. 

So will God turn a deaf ear or cold heart to you if you confide in Him about what makes you wish you were rich?  “Assuredly not!”

 “Search My Heart, O God…”

• Ask God to give you insight into why you may be tempted to pursue wealth , and ask Him to help you find contentment in Him instead, praying

Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting (Psalm 139:23-24).

Financial Ethic #4 states:  “We will save a portion of our incomes for future difficulties.” ^[1]   

By now, I hope you are convinced that saving is not only possible, it is wise. Remember:  “In the house of the wise are stores of choice food and oil, but a foolish man devours all he has. (Proverbs 21:20)”

What types of things should you save for?

1. A safety net. Life will bring unexpected expenses and changes (or interruptions) in income.  Knowing that emergencies happen when you least anticipate, it is wise to be prepared with a savings safety net equaling 3-6 months’ living expenses.  This also helps to protect you from the temptation to use your credit cards to “help” during these emergencies.
2. Specific purchases or endeavors.  Do you want to take a family vacation?  Start a business? Furnish your house?  Resolve to regularly set aside as much as you can afford until you have funded your goal. Then, enjoy the fruits of your hard work and sacrifice!
3. The “distant” future.  I know the future seems like it will always be far away, but one day, you’re going to wake up and realize that the “future” has arrived.  Imagine how much peace you will have if you’ve been preparing for it all along.  If you know that one day you’re going to retire, one day you’re going to want to own a house, or one day your children are going to college, it is wise to save toward those goals starting now.   

As you can see, there are many Biblical, practical, wise things to save for. 

But now I must offer you a word of caution:  be careful not to cross the line from saving into hoarding. 

What’s the difference? Here are two Bible verses that provide us with insight.

“But God said to him, ‘You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?’ “This is how it will be with anyone who stores up things for himself but is not rich toward God. (Luke 12:20)”

“No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money. (Matthew 6:24)”

If setting aside money is keeping you from contentment, from generosity, and from trusting and obeying God, you have crossed the line from saving to hoarding.  Here are some warning signs:

• You take such personal “ownership” in your savings or possessions that you cannot bear to part with them for anything.
• You find your sense of safety and security and provision in your savings.
• You feel “in control” if you have a lot of money saved.
• You regularly pass up clear God-ordained opportunities to give generously because you are afraid that you’ll need it.
• You don’t think it’s possible to ever save “enough”.

Do any of these things resound with you personally?  Then before you set aside another penny, it’s time to free yourself from the very natural human tendency to gain comfort from how much you possess.

First, ask God to help you truly understand His perspective on saving. See http://blog.niadavenport.com/2011/08/financial-ethic-4-part-2-whats-the-point-of-saving/

Second, ask God to help you to trust Him completely with your finances.  See http://blog.niadavenport.com/2010/12/how-to-free-your-marriage-from-financial-friction-part-3/

And finally, counterattack your tendency to hoard money by choosing instead to give generously in obedience to God’s direction. See http://blog.niadavenport.com/2011/04/giving-is-a-blast/

Now you have all of the information, insight, and inspiration that I hope you need to start setting money aside with your spouse.  So with God’s help, go ahead and set up your safety net, dream about your next vacation or business venture, and save for the future before it comes! 

“Search My Heart, O God…”

• Ask God to free you from any tendency to hoard instead of saving,  praying

Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting (Psalm 139:23-24).

The resistant spouse.

Financial Ethic #4 states:  “We will save a portion of our incomes for future difficulties.” ^[1]   

But you may be wondering, “how can ‘we’ save if my spouse won’t cooperate”? 

First, let me encourage you that there is hope.  That hope does not come in the form of you shaming your spouse into saving the way you want.  And it doesn’t come in the form of you opening secret savings accounts to hide money from your spouse.  Your hope can be found in pursuing the same marital financial unity that you’ve been reading about in my blog from the very beginning.

Your spouse’s resistance to saving may be explained in one of three ways.  And each of these requires a different approach to overcome and get you both on the same page.  That doesn’t necessarily mean that your spouse is going to get on the page you’re on.  It means that the two of you can turn a new page, together!

Problem A:  Your spouse thinks that saving money is no fun.  When I was resistant to saving, I subconsciously weighed the pleasure of spending versus the pleasure of saving.  Guess which one lost every time!  If your spouse thinks like I did, spending money on something they want is fun.  But putting money in the bank that they wish they could spend on something they want isn’t fun. 

• Solution#1:  Pray before you approach.  Ask God to give you specific wisdom on how to approach your spouse.  He can help you to be humble, and He can enable them to really hear what you’re trying to say.
• Solution #2:  Seek mutual understanding.  There’s no room for a “holier-than-thou” attitude.  That will cause your spouse to put up defensive walls, and feel like you’re treating them like a child.  Instead, help them feel like their desire for fun is important to you, even if it’s something that needs to be brought under budgetary control.  And ask God to help them understand your desire to save for the future.

Problem B:  Your spouse wants to experience immediate benefits from their money. When I was resistant to saving, the idea of putting money away for the “future” was abstract and unappealing.  If your spouse thinks like I did, they’d rather do things with money that provide a benefit right now.  Spending money usually does that.  But putting money away for something much later doesn’t. 

• Solution #1:  Make the future look appealing. You can help your spouse see saving as a way to reach your dreams as a couple.  Spend some time envisioning the future together, and talk about saving as a way to make those dreams become a reality. 
• Solution #2:  Knowledge is power!  Read my blog posts about saving with your spouse.  They’re short, and are written from the perspective of a “reformed” resistant spouse.  They also lay the Biblical foundation for why and how to save.

Problem C:  Your spouse thinks that saving is for rich people.  I used to think that saving “pennies” was a waste of time.  If your spouse thinks like I did, they may be waiting until they get a big pay raise or receive a cash windfall before they can imagine saving.  Or they may think that they’ll never attain the financial standing that is necessary to be able to save. 

• Solution #1:  Steady plodding: Ask your spouse if they would be willing to start saving a small amount each week.  It might help to put it in a cookie jar to give them something visible to measure their progress.  Challenge each other to see if you can each put aside $5-$10 per week without feeling broke.  Then plan a (free!) celebration after 1 month, 3 months, and 12 months to commemorate your joint success!
• Solution #2:  Put saving on auto-pilot.  Most people, not only resistant spouses, do better with a savings plan they don’t have to think about.  Whether the money is automatically deducted from their paycheck, or automatically transferred out of their account, it helps to create a mindset that the saved money simply isn’t available for spending. 

As a reformed “resistant spouse”, and as a financial planner, I can personally attest to all of these things.  I didn’t see saving money as fun, but I eventually learned to see it as a worthwhile pursuit.  I wasn’t excited about waiting to enjoy my money, but I eventually learned to appreciate the fact that waiting would give me more money to enjoy.  And I didn’t think that it was worthwhile to squirrel away small amounts of money, but I eventually learned that money really does multiply over time. 

These changes were not the result of my husband shaming me into changing my ways.  These changes were a result of praying that God would take over our finances.  “The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. (James 5:16b)”  Prayer opened my eyes to the truth that my dealings with finances were falling far short of our potential.  Prayer gave me the courage to face my shortcomings.  And prayer landed me on a new page with God –and with my husband — about saving.

So before you say or do one more thing to try to change your resistant spouse, pray!

 “Search My Heart, O God…”

• Ask God to get you and your spouse on the same page with Him about saving,  praying

Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting (Psalm 139:23-24).

A cookie Jar.

A children’s account at the Savings and Loan.

These were some of the tools that my parents used when I was a child in attempts to get me into the habit of saving money.  And believe it or not, in spite of all of my subconscious efforts to sabotage them, these methods actually worked.  However, they would have been much more effective if I had been a little more motivated, cooperative, and convinced that saving was wise.  

Now that I am sold on the importance of saving, and hopefully you are too, I want to share with you Biblical wisdom on how to do it.    

Financial Ethic #4 states:  “We will save a portion of our incomes for future difficulties.” ^[1]   

What instructions does the Bible give us on how to save?   

1.  Commit your savings plans and desires to God.

 “Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed” (Proverbs 16:3).

The best place to start any of your life’s pursuits is on your knees.  God wants to hear from you about what you’re trying to do.  After all, can you think of anyone with more insight, compassion, understanding, and power to help you than God Himself?  Committing your savings plans to Him puts you in partnership with His plans for you instead of getting off on financial tangents that lead to frustration and disappointment.  

2.  Gather money a little bit at a time.

 “Dishonest money dwindles away, but he who gathers money little by little makes it grow” (Proverbs 13:11).

In the past, I have been tempted to wait until I had a lot of surplus income before I started attacking my savings goals.  But what I’ve learned over the years is that it makes sense to start with what I have today, and build it up slow and steady.  Can you afford to set aside $25 a month?  There are banks and investment funds that will let you open an account if you sign up for monthly savings drafts.  This helps you to develop savings as a discipline, keeps you from trying to make extreme changes that you can’t maintain, and allows you to make saving a built-in part of your overall financial plan.    

3.  Set aside leftover money during seasons of abundance.

“Ants are creatures of little strength, yet they store up their food in the summer” (Proverbs 30:25).

My husband and I have a savings account with no checks and no debit card at a very remote bank.  During the months when our household expenses are lower, or when we receive an unexpected sum of cash, we transfer the “extra” money to this account to save for the more expensive months of the year.  This helps to smooth our cash flow and prepare us for the times of year where we have to spend more. 

Saving really isn’t rocket science.  The Bible verses above provide us with a very simple and effective framework for getting in the mindset and practice of setting aside money for the future.  So don’t wait until your rich uncle sends you $1 million.  Talk to God, look at your checkbook, and start saving today!

“Search My Heart, O God…”

• Ask God to give you wisdom on how much to start saving, praying

Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting (Psalm 139:23-24).